‘Welcome My Friend’
Utilising involuntary unconscious signals
I Posted something similar to this on the Provocative Hypnosis post training group that runs for 6 x weeks afterwards for integration of learnings demonstration follow-ups etc. I wrote this up for my blog to share here as an example of some of the stuff that goes on behind closed doors, and hopefully some input from you…
Well I have to report something of a major breakthrough in learning for me that occurred yesterday and in the light of this group and your continuing learning I thought I’d share.
The Provocative Hypnosis training first of all shook my worldview of change-work and made me take a closer look at multiple aspects of myself and some of my BIG assumptions that I’m experimenting with in the world on a daily basis. I was thinking about some of the tough decisions I’ve been facing in business and some of the possibilities of further ones down the line in a variety of different ways. One area of my business is property development, re-furbishing and rental. Due to the dips in the economy land has decreased in value and some of the bigger plots I co-own have dropped significantly, some by over 50% in value. To say that I was flying and everything I touched was turning to gold was an understatement. I couldn’t really put a foot wrong in business and continued working and building up the different aspects of the company.
Then… kaboooom, the ripples and warning signs in the economy turned into waves that suddenly became tidal and I’ve really fought hard to save my property business from the banks who have an interest (a very selfish one) and people wanting to give me a right kick in the proverbial kerry packers. You may have heard the saying, “‘When the fox hears the rabbit screamin, he comes a runnin, but not to help… Well So far so the fox is still a runnin and the twists and turns are definately where character and inside insights are developed. As John grinder said to me one day “Success can get boring, it’s the mis-takes that you get the most from”. So some struggle and some strife and more prominently though and the intention of my writing, is this sensation that I was getting from time to time that I could only label as ‘Lost’ which was constantly emerging, tugging like a child that wants attention and when it doesn’t get it the tug becomes more of a pull.
Sometimes in situations like this you may not feel you have anyone to talk to or because you are looking through certain lenses/filters of thinking rather than switching lenses so you can look at the thoughts! just how it may be affecting you personally. In this instance I certainly didn’t want to burden anyone else or strike fear into family members about the thoughts I was having so I decided to keep things to myself and ‘act as if’ I knew where I was going, when I actually felt I didn’t, hence the ever expanding sensation of being ‘lost’. It was starting to affect my life in other ways as I think of it now especially in the health arena as covertly I changed over a period of time and seemed to be on a kind of (fat finding) mission, you know eating on the run, drinking more than normal, a nice steady transition from doing 15 mile training runs and Core training etc to absolutely zero. Whilst maintaining focus purely on ‘busy being busy’ and constantly resisting the thoughts and feelings of having to walk round with a blindfold whilst fumbling around for answers that weren’t too keen on making themselves known.
Now, here’s the thing, I wasn’t focusing purely on business I was focusing on what I didn’t know about… The future and a zillion different ways it could pan out and from time to time it didn’t look quite what I’d like it to turn out. Now I’m going to repeat something (from time to time) which means not constant but every now and then. But If I totted the amount of time spent in this particular state and spread it through time it would probably accumulate to plenty of man hours running around with a pin and a tail but no donkey in sight.
When Jorgen was here delivering the Provocative Hypnosis training I asked him one night about a technique he had demonstrated, “have you used this technique for self application”? to which he replied “no I have other things for that but if you’re curious maybe you could test it in experience”. As I heard him say it I also heard myself saying “the four days were really one big self application training. I mean I felt like I was taken apart and when I tried to put myself back together as previously, the pieces didn’t fit any more”… Especially a few weeks on as I now walk through the world on the lookout for my own assumptions, role projections and left brain robots to name but a few things so I can experiment like a mad scientist. Michael Breen says everyone should develop their own mad scientists laugh so insert a Yorkshire Mad Scientist Muhahhhhhhhh here.
Last night I wrote a journal… One of the things Jorgen encourages participants of his training’s to do and I get urges to write so its an easy exercise for me. It’s an area I’d like to focus more on professionally but the piece I wrote was just an expression which I sent to my business partner/best friend with a garble of my inner-most thoughts. At the end of the message I wrote ‘This e-mail will be deleted by me once it has been sent and removed from my deleted folder. You can read it and bin it or even print it and eat it I don’t mind’,
Later on that night the ‘Lost’ feeling came back and I said ‘welcome my friend’ which was taken from the training and an example is on a video clip on my site about unconscious signal utilisation. I stayed totally present with it as I was laid in bed and then decided to have a play… (with my imagination) thank you, before your imagination starts to wander. I thought to myself what would happen if I did a modified version of the hand drop technique? so firstly I imagined Jorgens voice counting me down from five to 1 and I really engaged with the auditory aspects whilst reciting the words verbatim and surprising myself in the process. “that feeling you’ve been avoiding, you’ve tried all-sorts of things to distract yourself but now it’s time (insert rest of induction here)… I continued “use that feeling as an affect bridge back in time to the very first event (insert rest of script)…
“Now I’m going to count from 5 to one and at the count of 1 you’ll be right there (continue script)… When I reached the number one at first it was a little hazy and I knew I was somewhere but wasn’t really sure (probably bloody lost again) but as I asked myself questions like inside or outside? Alone or with people the memory started to take form. All of a sudden I was at an event I can remember from my personal history but would never in a million years considered it could possibly have any impact.
So there I was back in time by 36 years to a four year old on holiday with my mum and dad somewhere in Devon and was out playing on my own in my own little world. It was so clear in my mind whilst playing I was totally in the flow as If I was really there… Eventually where I decided to go back to mum and dad and our chalet but couldn’t find the one that was meant to be ours, I searched and it eventually dawned on me… I was LOST… Panic set in as I frantically screamed for my mum and dad to come and get me looking round anxiously for someone, anyone to save me from my despair… No help came from the outside and searching to no avail for what seemed lifetime. Being enveloped like that by the sheer terror of losing my mum and dad was a nightmare that didn’t seem like it was going to end. Then suddenly my mum popped her head out a chalet door about 20-yards away and said “what’s up son”. (Insert pattern interrupt here) Now openeth the floodgates of tears as I ran at her like a child possessed grabbing hold of her leg like I wasn’t ever going to let go. I got all the hugs and kisses you can imagine along with some “silly boy we knew you were there all the time we were watching you playing”… I remember as I look back I really did take some consoling, you know like Gazza when England got knocked out of the world style crying mixed with intermittent gasps for air that sound like amplified hiccups.
I continued in the memory and asked myself or Jorgen asked me or whoever it was asking in my mind… what is it you can learn from this so that you can let go of the emotion? Those kind of questions… And then all the stuff came rushing back from the training about being a 40yr old person with different cognition and meaning making systems came out… I really was immersed in this and it wasn’t like I was putting any conscious effort into the process.
The thought appeared that I just wasn’t looking in the right place… Sometimes you have to step back and take a different vantage point… Gather your thoughts and find where it is you need to be… Take some mental notes and go back to them if required… You know, place a marker mentally on where you would like to be but don’t forget where you’ve been or where you came from… Basically a flood of thoughts, learnings and complete acceptance of the situation for what it was… Followed by the feeling completely dispersing like the big guy on Green Mile when he opens his mouth and all those flies start filling the atmosphere…
I literally dropped straight to sleep and woke up amazed at what had happened and amazed that I had the ability to work on myself in such a profound way without it seems much conscious input other than the frames I put in before hand. I feel like there’s some more exploring to do and look forwards to sharing my thoughts along the way… Seems like just a distant dream.
My entire journey in NLP/Hypnosis and Provocative Hypnosis has been the fascination with self application so that I can constantly develop personally in order to apply the techniques more effectively with others… Anyone else had any similar experiences?
What are some of the ways you have found work best when it seems as if your backs up against the wall?
What you resist persists so always remember when something appears that instead of pushing it away you give a simple greeting like ‘Welcome my friend’ because it may just be holding a message for you to ‘Find what it is you already have in times of challenge… Even the ones that seem extreme at the time’.
Wayne
May 18th, 2010
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